Infracted for the first time

You asked me why I stopped writing.  I didn’t have an answer.  The truth is, I never thought about the blog until that moment when you asked.  I can’t even remember why I stopped blogging.  It’s as if I woke up one morning and there is no blog.  

But there is.  It’s still there.  I’m not going to updated it anymore, but it’ll stay there.  When I’m old and gray, I’ll go back to it and read it.  I’ve writted so many entries about my life.  So many hurtful memories, so many happy memories.  I’ve written entries about you.  

It was once a healthy blog with lots of people eagerly waiting for updates.  

“Were you pressured by your audience?”
“Not at all.”

The truth is, I can’t write without an audience.  I thrive on my audience.  It is their thoughts that keep me going from one entry to the next.  Alas, things got out of hand.  I lost my anonymity and I’ve done things I shouldn’t have.  I lost my freedom.  People who knew me personally found their way into the blog and from then on, I felt censored.  Perhaps that was one reason I stopped.  

I can assure you that it’s not the sole reason.  I have no problems writing about non-personal thoughts.  I could go on and on for months without having to tackle anything about my personal experiences.  But what would be the point?  Yes, I do miss the ability to write freely.  That’s why I started the blog in the first place.  

I really have to thank you, hopefully in person some time soon, for asking the question.  Because I have forgotten.  I have been so busy the past few months trying to make ends meet, that I have forgotten.  And now that I actually took the time to write, I feel great.  I’ve never felt so alive.  I’ve never felt like this since forever.

Thank you so much.